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ANACREONTICS 



BY 



Carl Benson 






it 



" Hans Breitmann preached a sermon and quoted vot Lutner said, 
Wer liebt nicht Wein, Weib und Gesang, is a shtupid wooden-head. 
Der bleibt ein Narr sein Lebenlang and goes to de Tuyfel ven dead." 

Hans Breitmann 's Sermon. 



NEW YORK 
PRIVATELY PRINTED 

1872 




SO MUCH OF THIS BOOK 

AS HAS NOT BEEN ALREADY APPROPRIATED 

TO OTHER GOOD MEN AND TRUE, 

IS HEREBY DEDICATED 

TO MY JOLLY FRIEND 

HANS BREITMANN. 



CONTENTS. 



PAGE. 

The Drinker's Apology 7 

forestier 9. 

The Pertinacious Toper 16 

That Punch . .18 

To J. T. J . .29 

Lager ....•••»•• 34 

Gerace Rosso 39 

GEdenburg 43 

Wine and Wisdom . . . . , . . 52 

Hochheimer 55 

Funch Song 59 

Rauzan Margaux 61 

Stein Wein 66 

q- 

The Sons of the Sorrowful, or The Liquor 

Qhestj qn \^Ce/h^/-£^ ..... 69 

Ad Fontium Nymphas 73 

Ann^e Concubitus. 74 



THE DRINKER'S APOLOGY. 

(FROM THE FRENCH.) 

/^OME now! If I drink, where's the crime? 

Can you tell ? 
Look round us ! All Nature is drinking as well. 
The Earth drinks the dew, and the Sun, floating 

free, 
Stoops to drink of the wave from the cup of the 

sea. 
The tree, as he plunges his roots in the ground, 
Through numberless mouths drinks the torrent 

profound. 
All drink — but man only, that Scion divine^ 

7 



ANACREONTICS. 

While the others drink water, knows how to drink 

wine ; 

And, measureless tippler, can boast, he alone, 

Having once drunk enough, that he still can 

drink on. 

8 



I 



FORESTIER. 

4 SPECIMEN OF THE PUFF POETICAL. 
(l8 5 l.) 

HAVE a friend, one P. C. K , 



Who selleth the best of all Champagne. 
Champagne wine is good, I wot, 
Whether the weather be cold or hot ; 
When Boreas blows, 
And you're almost froze, 
From the tip of your nose 
To the tips of your toes, 
Then how your heart glows 
As the beverage flows 
That makes you see everything couleur de rose 



ANACREONTICS. 

Or in the dog-days, 

When the sun's fierce rays 

Set all in a blaze, 

And your blood seems to boil, 

And your butter turns oil, 

And the freshest of chops and steaks will spoil, 

And your face grows brown, 

And your collars drop down, 

And there isn't a soul that you know left in town, 

Save in Wall street, where Brokers, by way of 
preparing 

For the still hotter temperature whither they're faring, 

Keep shaving and cornering, bulling and bear- 
ing. 

(If the Editor shrinks 

From this stanza, and thinks 

Such an insinuation might possibly stop all his 

IO 



ANACREONTICS. 

Circulation in this our commercial metropolis. 

Why then he may just 

Leave it out and be — blessed, 

Or fill up with asterisks as he likes best) 

And your poor tired muse 

Beseechingly wooes 

The balmiest breezes of eve to come at her — 

In short, under every stage of thermometer 

All times and all seasons are good for Champagne, 

Especially that of P. C. K. 

Some years ago there was going on 

A great deal of talk about Die Brimont 

And after that again years a few 

There was still more talk about Cordon Bleu 

And 'tis now the fashion to talk about Mumm 

(The very name says, in its praises be dumb) 

ii 



ANACREONTICS. 

And some about Heidseck will prate for a week (it 

Might hide very long before I would seek it) 

And your grave Bostonian so stately of pace, 

W.th second hand English writ in his face, 

Of whom you may say without any libel, he 

Claims to be master of omne scibile 

And in every thing to be men's guider 

Will talk to you half an hour about S chr eider ; 

At one time Bacchanals all confest 

That Brighams Sillery was the best, 

It used to gladden me when I spied 

His grape leaf gilt on a bottle's side 

But pallida mors who lets none escape 

Without leave stalked away with our grape ; 

And a very good fellow well known to me 

Hangs out a wine that they call N. B. 

If any one's cross or troubled with spleen, he 



ANACREONTICS. 

Will find it a capital Nota bene 
But I'm sure there never was any Cham- 
pagne 
Like the Forestier brand of P. C. K. — - 

And I remember it happened to me 

When I was a Cantab at Trinity ; 

A friend who lived in the land of the Gaul 

Sent me some wine that was rather tall. 

The name I was stupid enough to forget, 

But the smack of the juice I remember yet. 

'Twas a creamy wine of roseate hue 

Like rubies dissolved in ambrosial dew, 

And we brought in good fellows not a few 

To carry a rich Symposium through. 

Oh 'twas a goodly sight to see 

The mirth of that revelling company ! 

J 3 



ANACREONTICS. 

The Celts that meet about the Park so notedly 

irascible 
So prominent in everything that's make-a-man- 

jack-ass-able, 
Could not have made more noise than we and 

scarce have been more riotous; 
We got a going such a pace no mortal man 

could quiet us; 
For one rose up and speechified and one sat 

down and sang, 
Another laughed the while he quaffed until the 

old roof rang, 
And one was quoting Addison, and one was 

quoting Rabelais, 

And one declaring Locksley Hall was by no 

means a shabby lay 
14 



ANACREONTICS. 

And one far gone, with something twixt a hic- 
cup and a cough in his 

Throat, lay along ejaculating scraps of Aristoph- 
anes. ■ 

Now this was remarkably tall Champagne, 

But nothing to that of P. C. K. — 

And if you would know 

Where you must go 

To get the wine 

That is so divine, 

Whenever you feel like a fit of the blues 

Take up your hat and put your shoes 

(Or boots, as the case may be) on your feet, 

And go down to 80 Beaver Street, 

In there is the office of P. C. K , 

And there you will find the best Champagne. 

15 



THE PERTINACIOUS TOPER. 

FROM THE GERMAN. 

TN coolest cellar here I rest, 
Near a full cask of liquor, 
Right glad at heart, since of the best 
I for myself can pick here. 
The butler puts the spigot in, 
Obedient to my winking, 
Gives me the cup; I hold it up, 
I'm drinking, drinking, drinking! 

A demon plagues me, thirst to wit, 

And so, to scare the fellow, 

I take my glass and into it 

16 



ANACREONTICS. 

Let flow the Rhine-wine mellow. 

The whole earth smiles upon me then, 

With ruddy, rosy blinking ; 

I couldn't hurt the worst of men, 

While drinking, drinking, drinking ! 

But ah ! my thirst grows fiercer still 

With every flask I ope here, 

Which is th' inevitable ill 

Of every genuine toper. 

Yet this my comfort, when at last 

From chair to floor I'm sinking, 

I always kept my purpose fast 

Of drinking, drinking, drinking ! 

17 



THA T PUNCH/// 

(February n, 1865.) 

HPHEY who aspire to carry higher the stand- 
ard art-ideal, 

If circumspect, will not neglect some phases of 
the real; 

And if you ask the bard to show by an exam- 
ple terse it, he 

Appeals to what he used to know of Cambridge 
University ; 

Where, of the dainty feasters all, and supper- 
giving fellows, 

18 



ANACREONTICS. 

There were none more aesthetical than Hallam 

or than Ellis,* 
'Tis thus, the logical may think to obviate all 

strictures, 
Our Johnston brews the best of drink, and buys 

the best of pictures. 

When Noah safely reached dry ground, he couldn't 
bear a minute 

To drink the flood that sinners drowned, with 
all the sinners in it; 

So, making for his weary crew a curious trans- 
formation, 



* Two good men and true, who have " gone to the majori- 
ty " (abierunt ad p lures). Henry Fitzmaurice Hallam was the 
second son of the historian ; Robert Leslie Ellis, senior wrang- 
ler of his year, and one of the editors of Bacon. They were 
both worthy disciples of Brillat-Savarin, and Ellis had, more- 
over, a most un-English dexterity in dress. 

19 



ANACREONTICS. 

A current* from the grape he drew, a marvellous 
libation ; 

And tippling up his new-found wine grew more 
and more ecstatical, 

Until it forced him to recline in posture prob- 
lematical. 

Thus No A's drink became no ease, and brought 
him to disaster, 

While Johnston's liquor only frees our tongues 
to talk the faster. 

When Noah grew too old and staid to follow 
out his mission, 



* All the punlings are italicized, to prevent mistakes. 
Swinton of the Times, who is not easily permeable by the com- 
mon domestic joke, once advised me to put my jests into Ro- 
man capitals, not considering them capital, but possibly inti- 
mating that they were rum-uns. 



ANACREONTICS. 

Young Bacchus started in the trade, and set up 

opposition ; 
He gave his foes no end of fits, and gave his 

friends their wishes, 
Made women tear their king to bits, and turned 

men into fishes ; 
Raised Ariadne to the skies, and 'verted^ all the 

East, 
But Johnston's doings more surprise the sharers 

of his feast. 
He turned us all to demi-gods with such a 

punch as this, 
And took us up, with a loving cup, to the 

seventh heaven of bliss. 

* When an individual " renounces the errors " of one 
church and " adopts those " of another, it is now polite Eng- 
lish to call him a 'vert (without con or pro), so as not to offend 
either the sect he is 'verted from, or the sect he is 'verted to. 
Qucere, whether vert, in this sense, has any connection with the 
French word for green. " Apology " Newman thinks it hasn't. 



ANACREONTICS. 

Dame Helen, when her husband brave hung out 

to young Telemachus,* 
Nepenthe to the party gave, (by no means unto 

them a cus.) 
A word which Wilkest mistook one week, and 

thought it was the same as is 
A different word in Heathen Greek, no more 

nor less than Nemesis. 
It conquered wrath and grief so quick, that, after 

tasting it, 
An alderman you couldn't kick or cry at Har- 
per's wit, 
No better brew was e'er displayed at any classic 

lunches, 



* See Odyssey, book iv., 219-30. 

f Not '45 John but 2/ 4c George. A man of great cour- 
age, who sometimes makes desperate raids into foreign tongues 
with such success as that recorded above. 



ANACREONTICS. 

But the punch that J. T. Johnston made was 
the punch of all the punches. 

The great Panurge went under ground,* so says 
his curious story, 

And there a wondrous sign he found, St. Bottle 
in his glory, 

It stirred his mighty wits to song, a song which 
I'm afraid is 

A bit too broad, though none too long, to sing 
before the ladies. 

There was a better oracle for Johnston's con- 
gregation, 

For it required no priest to tell a word of ex- 
planation ;t 



* See Rabelais, book v., ch. 44-5. 

f As the priest Bacbuc was required to explain the oracle 
of the Holy Bottle. By the way, St. Bottles has a church to 
this day in Cambridge (England). The name is sometimes 
erroneously written Botulph's. 

23 



ANACREONTICS. 

Champagne and hock, and oranges, Bohemian 

crystal crowning, 
Are very explicit, I guess, and not at all like 

Browning. 

See, see, around that brimming bowl's concomit- 
ant utensils 

How gather all the goodly souls immortal in 
their pencils ! 

E. L. is holding forth to Hays, and serious as a 
quaker, he 

Is throwing light, sir, on the days of ornamental 
drapery. 

There's Eastman J. and Haseltine, a looking at 
a Venus,* 



* Now I think on't, 'twas a Diana. But as she was in the 
usual costume of a Venus, it comes to the same thing, so I let 
the couplet stand. 

24 



ANACREONTICS. 

And Beard, the glass his lips between, has vis- 
ions of Silenus. 

While Benson* for an essay smart is seeking in- 
spiration, 

Stone mingles science with his art, and takes 
an observation.t 

There's Bierstadt, recreant to his name, does 

what he " hadn't oughter," 
Though canvas gives him all his fame, he really 

paints on water. 
He passes by the ruby brink, the aggravating 

creature, 



* The real Benson, not the pseudo ; Eugene not Carl. He 
is well known as an art critic, also as the depictor of a young 
lady in various costumes and attitudes. Wherefore it was 
said by an irreverent person that Benson would be the fittest 
man to paint the recent peace conference, because he was ac- 
customed to represent d — m sels. 

f " With a glass operated on by means of a bottle." See 
Orpheus C. Kerr. 



ANACREONTICS. 

And C. B. couldn't make him drink, no more 

than Stone could Beecher.* 
Brevoort has left his cloudy skies, Suydam his 

streams and shores, 
And little Lang one dimly spies, as through the 

crowd he bores. 
Says Gray to Hicks, " I'm fain to think there is 

a slight omission, 
We ought to have, with such a drink, some 

glowing blondes of Titian." 

There's Rossiter, whose brilliant hues in old 

% time would allure all eyes, 

* The story goes that Stone, being at the Atnenseum one 
night, approached the punch bowl as his wont is, and distribu- 
ted of the same to the passers-by. Now, of these passers 
chanced to be Henry Ward Beecher, and it was Beecher's boast 
that no one ever dared to offer him a glass of liquor. There- 
fore, on being thus accosted by Stone, he felt that he had lost 
his aquarian virginity, and rushed frantically from the premises, 
and ?nirabile dictu, was not seen or heard of in public for the 
next twelve hours. 

26 



ANACREONTICS. 

Now seems to stand in other shoes, he's been 

so long to ruralize. 
He boasts the charm the country yields, and 

tells us what fcb& hens ate, 4-y^n 

While Cranch the ladle deftly wields, and fills a 

glass for Kensett. 
If arsy celare artem be, their worth is undenied, 
For this artistic draught you see how rapidly 

they hide. 
But one has left us in the lurch — and should 

we deem this hap ill ? 
No ! Johnston wouldn't have a Church ; he couldn't 

use a chap ill. 

So one glass round before we start to toast the 

new Maecenas, 

Who illustrates the spread of art, in every style 

and genus. 

27 



ANACREONTICS. 

Let's all, whate'er our creed or cause, both Or- 
thodox and Arians, 

Join in this damnatory clause, Jeff Davis take 
aquarians ! 

For Greeley shall stop talking trash, and Bennett 
shall stop lying ; 

And Seward shall do something rash, and Hop- 
pin set us crying, 

And Sala grow respectable and cease 

to bore us, 

And Bayard Taylor cease to tell his elephantine 
stories,* 

Before a man of us forgets this day and all its 
glories. 



* Elephantine — of, or relating to the elephant, also enormous, 
prodigious, colossal. It is here used in both senses. 

28 



to y. t. 7. 

{FOR NOT ATTENDING HIS ARTISTS' RECEPTION) 
(April, 12, 1866.) 

AM lying, Johnston, lying — not like " Gem- 
men of the Press," 
Although in ' Sheets ' I'm lying — that's because 

I cannot dress. 
I have got the Rheumatism very badly in one leg, 
Worse than any other ism, and I cannot move 

a peg, 

And I lie and groan in anguish, and can hard- 
ly even read, 

And my shattered spirits languish, and Fm very 

weak indeed. 

29 



ANACREONTICS. 

I am lying, Johnston, lying — so I cannot walk 
to thee, 

To the glorious punchifying, where the merry 
fellows be ; 

Where the painters all are tippling the most 
picturesque of punches ; 

In its gentle eddy rippling through the j oiliest 
of lunches ; 

Where those tales of Bayard Taylor's with Herod- 
otus compete, 

And Cranch will sing the Sailors who their 
comrade tried to eat 

How I wonder what you fellows think or speak 

of me to-day ! 
Will it worry Dr. Bellows if Carl Benson is 

away, 

30 



ANACREONTICS. 

Will it make Dick Hunt less jolly, render Bier- 
stadt's speech more slow, 

Will our Jack look melancholy 'cause his cousin 
cannot show ?' 

Will Leutze say "poor fellow!" how I wish we 
had him here ?" 

Or the eye of Beard grow mellow with a sym- 
pathetic tear ? 

Eugene Benson's up the country, to enjoy what 

he calls Spring, 
Though I think it great effront'ry here to speak 

of such a thing, 
We have got no Spring (poor devils) in this 

wretched Western clime, 

When the Summer's hottest revels follow close 

on Winter's rime ; 

31 



ANACREONTICS. 

If we had a Spring like Europe, I should not 

be on my back, 
With exceedingly obscure hope of soon getting 

up, alack ! 

Ancient Greeks and Romans used at their ban- 
quets to recline ; 

And the fashion then amused; but their taste is 
nowise mine; 

And I've heard that Fanny Kemble lay upon 
her back at sea, 

And made all the stewards tremble by her 
orders for her tea ; 

But this feeding on your back — 'tis for me a 
stupid way, 

Rather than make it a practice, I'd read Tit- 
comb every day. 

32 



ANACREONTICS. 

Oh, ye happy men with two legs, when the 

luscious bowl ye share, 
Since I cannot get me new legs, think I am in 

spirit there ! 
And if any High art lover, to his Mistress crown 

the brim, 
Let my aspirations hover round and hallow it 

for him. 
[I caught this last idea from a party named 

Tom Moore, 

Who is sometimes rather freer than the parsons 

can endure.] 

33 



LAGER. 

(1866.) 

TI 7E started for the Mountain, 

Fanny and Jack and I ; 
The rising day was fresh and gay; 

The horses seemed to fly. 
I felt myself alive again, 
And put my hand on Charley's mane, 

A little ditch to try. 

As we went up the Mountain, 

Fanny and Jack and I, 

We had to go extremely slow 

To get so very high, 
34 



ANACREONTICS. 

Which seemed a sort of paradox, 
As we pushed scrambling through the rocks, 
Until the top was nigh. 

When we were on the Mountain, 

Fanny and Jack and I, 
And such a view as there are few 

Beneath our feet did lie, 
With hill and dale on either hand, 
We thought it very, very grand — 

Said some one "but its dry." 

We looked at one another, 

Fanny and Jack and I, 
As if to ask " who has a flask ?" 

But there was no reply. 

Quoth Jack, " If this were Deutschland here 

35 



ANACREONTICS. 

There would be certainty of beer, 
But now I none can spy. 

As we went down the Mountain, 

Fanny and Jack and I, 
We laughed and skipped and slid and slipped 
While half the morn went by ; 
And all our faces glowed like fire, 
For still the sun was mounting higher 

Along the clear, blue sky. 

When we were down the Mountain, 

Fanny and Jack and I, 
The sun shone out, no clouds about ; 

O Bacchus ! Weren't we dry ! 

We gallopped swiftly to our door 

And brought some bottles to the fore, 

36 



ANA GREONTICS. 

(Or to the three, for want of more) 
And made the Lager fly. 

And as we drank that Lager, 

Fanny and Jack and I, 
It quenched the fire and cured the tire, 

And made us wondrous spry. 
We uttered many a fearful pun, 
The woods resounded with our fun, 

And Echo laughed reply. 

MORAL. 

Wer liebt nicld Weib und Lager^ 
Whenever the chance comes by, 

He is a great goose and not ^ much use, 
And just as well may die, 

And when you go on a Summer ride, 

37 



ANA CREONTICS. 

Not knowing what may else betide, 

Lay in a good supply. 

38 



GERACE ROSSO. 

(November, 13, 1869.) 

' I ^HREE little bottles came by express ; 

Two were stolen, # so there were two less. 

We drank the last one of of the three 

In a merry, merry company. 

Two for the pencil and one for the pen, 
One for the nightingale's throat, and then 
One who pours (as Jenkins says) 
Her soul on the keys whene'er she plays, 
What shall we say of the last ? That she 
Is just as good as she can be. 

* Namely, by the expressmen, a catastrophe not uncom- 
mon in our corporation-ridden country. 

39 



ANACREONTICS. 

Our Western bard so learned and neat, 

And mellow and sweet, 
And brimming over with quaint conceit. 
Who has sung us lays of every land, 
On every theme from the light to the grand, 
Wishing well to me and mine, 
Sends me this Sicilian wine. 

Nine-and-twenty years ago, 
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow,* 
Passing delicate stems about, 
Poured this wine for Hawthorne out. 
Carl Benson, (How we apples swim !) 
To finish the flask assisted him. 

* It is to be hoped that the reader will appreciate the sim- 
ple beauty of this couplet. The author considers it nearly up 
to Tupper and a long way ahead of Dr. Holland. 

40 



ANA C RE ON TICS. 

Nine-and-twenty years have passed, 
Joy and sorrow, sun and rain ; 

Now this prince of good-and-Long-fellows 
Sends me some of his wine again. 

Oedenburger is very good hock, 

And goes with oysters very well ; 

Let no man at dry Sillery mock, 

Or say that Ofner is a sell. 

(One for the soup and one for the fish ; 

Every bottle to its dish.) 

These we have, and ask no more, 

When the guests are six, than bottles four 

So, as the crowning cup of the feast, 

Gerace Rosso comes, last, not least. 

He shall have the latest word; 

He shall wait on our country's bird, 

41 



ANACREONTICS. 

Our country's bird, our glory and pride, 
Renowned and honored far and wide. 
(I don't mean the eagle, so often stuck 
Into useless verse, but the canvas-back duck.) 

He speaks to the rest of joy and gladness ; 
He speaks to me of beauty and madness,* 
Checquered thoughts he brings to me, 
That fervent wine of Sicily. 

" When the wine is in the wit is out." 
The ancient saying is true no doubt. 
(Not in the sense that those would read, 
Perverted by aquarian creed;) 
For if a man has any wit, 

* Countess Gerace was a beautiful woman. Her cousin, the 
Duke of Terranova, took to politics late in life and went mad. 

42 



ANACREONTICS. 

Good liquor takes good hold of it, 

And brings it out in proper place, 

The festive board to grace. 

This hath been said in various shapes ; 

Better by none than shrewd DeMapes — 

Poculis accenditur animi lucema 

Cor imbutum nee tare volat ad super na. 

" The lantern of the intellect is lighted by the 

cup, 
The spirit soaked in nectar to Olympus mounteth 
up." 
But what that day 
We were moved to say, 

I cannot, cannot tell, 
Not I— although 
We were far from slow, 

And talked uncommonly well ; 
43 



ANACREONTICS. 

For repartee, and pun, and laughter 
Were carried away by what came after; 
And all the evening dissolved for me 
In a stream of molten melody, 

That floats 

In notes, 

Out-rolled 

Like liquid gold. 
That gushing strain, so sweet and clear, 
Moves a heart of stone to hear, 
" Riqui, Riqui, Riqui, Riqui." 
When the mocking bird can speak, he 

Talks just so, 

I know. 

44 



(EDENBURG. 

(May 19, 1870.) 

These verses were partly suggested by some twaddle of Dr. Holland's 
in " Scribner." 

I. 

~^HIS, with name recalling Eden, 
Doth its kindred wines exceed in 
Delicate bouquet. 
Lucky artist pair who found it, 
And as king of tipples crowned it, 
On a happy day. 

11. 

Six months ago 

We were here just so; 

45 



ANACREONTICS. 

Three merry, merry men are we, 

One on the canvass and one on the turf, 

And Jack hard up a tree ; 

But very, very little X$Js$$§_ he Le^kS 

If the purse be on the wane, 

So the girls are here again, 

And the good wine sparkling free. 

in. 

i 

Hence, avaunt ! 'tis holy ground, 

Let no Greeley lurk around,, 

Or Frothingham or Beecher, 

Or any other such creature 

As an " affinity " preacher, 

Or Cady coarse with double tongue, 

Harping upon woman's wrong. 

Woman's right is here to-night, 

46 



ANACREONTICS. 

And the right women too ; 
Women by travel and study enlightened, 

Who know what's what and who's who ; 
Women who are not too easily frightened, 

Whatever you say or do ; 
With whom you may joke and tipple and 
smoke ; 
They are up to it all, as well as you. 

IV. 

But one of our six 

Jovial bricks, 

(Brick, you know, is an epicene noun) 

Warbles no more to a listening town. 

Far, far over the sea, 

In a gush of melody, 

Our sweet singing bird has flown. 

47 



ANACREONTICS. 

So we must lean on a reed, 
(A pretty stout one indeed,) 
To make up for her that's gone. 

v. 

AVTCCQ 871 el 7106 COQ 

Kal tdrjTVOQ l£ "tqov two 

When the guests had eaten their fill, 
And drunk as much as they meant to, 
To (3ax%Lxov §o)QT]fta 
They lit, in social expansion, 
Ka7zvi66av Kara xXtOiag 
And raised a smoke in the mansion, 

VI. 

Then you should have seen her, the pride of 

our girls, 

48 



ANACREONTICS. 

The way she cast back the long sweep of her 

curls ! 
Th' above panegyric is borrowed from Whittier. 
Perhaps, when you read, you are ready to pity 

her, 
For being so far behind or outside 
The fashion, since rarely a maid is descried 
Who will let her hair loose in long curls now-a- 

days. 
If she wanders in fashion's mysterious ways, 
She bunches it up in some curious maze. 
So I hasten to tell you at once (without joke) 
The curls that I speak of were ringlets of 

smoke, 



49 



ANACREONTICS. 

VII. 

Look at her! Hear her! Worship her there! 
As she sits at her ease in a soft arm-chair, 
Between the puffs of her light cigarette 
Tossing out melody, jet after jet, 

And the hearers are all agreed 
No tones that are touched from a harp with 

man's fingers, 
{Vide Swinburne) can vie with the music that 

lingers, 
When blown through girl's mouth by a reed, 
And all of us swore as we heard 
That her singing was truly divine, 
And that all the more our hearts she stirred 
Because of that wonderful wine. 



=;o 



ANACREONTICS. 

MORAL. 

Who loves not woman, wine and song, 

Reads Greeley and Holland his whole life long. 

51 



ANA CREONTICS 



WINE AND WISDOM. 

(FROM THE PERSIAN.) 

rHE wise man drinketh well, I wis, 
In late or early walking, 
The old w T ine in his cellar is, 

The new wit in his talking; 
For if you us of one deprive, 
The other hardly will survive, 

They stand or fall together. 

The deeper down we dip in wine, 

The more our spirits raise us, 
When wisdom's beard can drip in wine, 

Then all the world surveys us : 

52 



A NA CREONTICS. 

In ecstasy surrounding us, 
With threefold transport rapturous, 
Of wine and song and loving. 

The wise man with his cup you see 
Above the vulgar standing, 

As mountains looming up you see, 
The vale below commanding ; 

The mountain shines in heaven's light, 

Our faces beam with clearer sight, 
Illumined by the goblet. 

What is it Cato proffers us 
Instead of our good living? 

Than joys a revel offers us, 

What better is he giving? 

One thing I know — not he forsooth ! 
53 



ANACREONTICS. 

If Clara in her blooming youth 
Were teasing me with kisses. 

Since life is short and care is long, 
This aim the wise can boast of, 

The time that will not spare us long, 
We mean to make the most of; 

Then drop your scruples, youngster do ! 

Come up here to our jolly crew, 

Like sunlight on the mountain. 

54 



HOCHHEIMER. 

TS there anything much sublimer 

Than a jolly good glass of Hochheimer? 
Of Bordeaux I always shall speak in terms of 
praise 
(How nicely it and salmon go together !), 
And it never is in vain to offer me Champagne, 

However hot or cold be the weather, 
Though I own I do not care a speech in Con- 
gress for Madeira, 
While Sol is at his present intensity; 
Pale Sherry, put in ice, for a glass or two, is 
nice — 
Though Robeson says it is a proof of density 
In mortal, young or old, to drink his sherry cold, 

55 



ANACREONTICS. 

But I do not submit to his authority; 
And punches — let me see — I know one r two and 
three,* 
But dont know which; should have the pri- 
ority, 
But just now, of all the tipples that inspire a 

lively rhymer, 
I own a special preference for '68 Hoehheimer, 

Well the French might want the Rhine, 
Where they raise this lovely wine ! 
Well the Germans might be stout 
In such a cause to fight it out ! 
And candid men have aye confessed 
Poets, whose wine is good, are best. 



* Davis, Maecenas and La Reim, 
Try them all, and try back again. 

56 



ANACREONTICS. 

There is a great way from A. de Musset 
To the gorgeous bard of Weimar; 

The one for his nip absinthe did sip, 
The other drank Hochheimer. 

Would you know how to drink this wine ? 
Tell your man before you dine 
(Or if you have a Phyllis, tell her) 
To bring the bottle from the cellar, 
As straight as he (or she) is able, 
The moment ere you go to table; 
•That's the proper way to drink it ; 
Iceing doesn't pay ; don't think it. 

For a swell man like you, a swell goblet will do 

To pass the rich draught to your throttle ; 
For a big-bellied glass (sure as Dow is an ass) 

57 



ANA CREONTICS. 

Is the mate to your long-throated bottle. 
And the curve of the lip adds a zest to your sip 

(Like the cream on a strawberry pottle), 
But after your meat you must eat nothing sweet ; 

Then I bet you don't stir from the spot till 

Perforce you stop at the last, last drop, like a 

true Parnassus climber, 

And leave a very empty flask that held the brave 

Hochheimer. 

58 



PUNCH SONG. 



(This song is not after Horace, 
But a later poet, Morris.) 



"ATTEAR the white-topped almond cake, 
Love, be jolly for my sake; 
Pass the goblets round with care, 
Pledge me in this beverage rare. 
Pledge me, Love ! for who knoweth 
What thing after punch cometh ? 

Shall we mourn an empty bowl, 
Or set sorrow on our soul ? 
Mellowed by this golden cup 
59 



ANACREONTICS. 

Wilt thou weep sweet drinks drunk up ? 

Pledge me, Love ! for who knoweth 

What thing after punch cometh ? 
60 



RAUZAN MARGAUX. 



TO GEORGE W. CURTIS. 



(Easter Sunday, 1872.) 



I. 

JU 

OSAGE sentiment and sober ! 
A 
O grave Malatromba of ours ! 

Come, cease to look stiff as a crowbar ! 

Come, strew your life's pathway with flowers! 
But waste no bad claret your cash on ; 

For here is a brand you don't know ; 
'Tis only just coming in fashion ; 

They call it the Rauzan Margaux ! 



61 



ANACREONTICS. 

II. 
So drop all your carpers and sharpers. 

And let Civil Service go hang! 
Leave " Justice " to lie for the Harpers ; 

Leave Forney the bolters to bang. 
A truce to satirical pennings 

At Fenton and Greeley & Co., 
Leave Schurz to be buttoned by Jennings ; 

You tackle this Rauzan Margaux ! 

in. 

Rich velvet is lovely when sinking 

Down a fair woman's back in a mass ; 

But velvet is better for drinking, 
When you conjure it into a glass. 

Once show it the road to your palate, 

It glides with perennial flow, 

62 



ANACREONTICS. 

And a touch that is sure to enthral it — 
This soft-stepping Rauzan Margaux. 

IV. 

And the blood of the grape as it lingers 

Through ruddy and readiest lips, 
Shall strike, like a song of sweet singers, 

To the soul of the sitter who sips, 
Till we rival the topers of story, 

Till we spurn all the dull and the slow, 
And our thoughts stalk abroad in their glory, 

Inspired by the Rauzan Margaux. 

v. 

For the soul of the Frenchman is in it ; 

This wine is a true child of Gaul ; 

It lifts up your heart like a linnet 

63 



ANA GREONTICS. 

To talk with the best of them all. 
They say that the brook is but shallow — 

The stream is pellucid, we know, 
And rich recollections shall hallow 

The stream of the Rauzan Margaux. 

VI. 

With every fresh glass they come clearer, 

The scintillant sayings that shine, 
The chaff that provokes not the hearer, 

The wit that comes out with the wine, 
The repartees' dexterous dashes, 

The sparkles of spirit that glow, 
(No truculent satire that lashes,) 

These rise from the Rauzan Margaux. 



64 



ANACREONTICS. 

VII. 
But, alas ! for our joys evanescent, 

Our perishing home of a day ! 
Too soon flies the pleasantest present, 

The fairest of flow'rets decay; 
And fate, with sardonical banter, 

Makes jest at the glass that is low — 
We have finished otir second decanter, 

And drunk all the Rauzan Margaux. 

65 



STEIN WE IN. 

To Sam Ward, our Sam Ward ; the only original. All others, -whether 
■with middle names or not, are impostors. 

TTTHY should this wine, so full and fine, be 
called a wine of stone ? 

Can any sage explain me this ? Has any mortal 
known ? 

Is it because the luscious draught a stony heart 
would move, 

And make the miser generous and the misan- 
thrope love ? 

Or is it that it gives the force and overpower- 
ing might 

66 



ANACREONTICS. 

Which makes the Deutscher, like a rock, stand 

through the thickest fight ? 
Or call we it a precious stone, a very gem of 

drink, 
A jewel bright in dusky case when glasses gaily 

clink ? 

Come, work it out by algebra, you all-accom- 
plished man. 

Or rhyme it out in goodly verse, if rhyme it out 
you can. 

Or play it in a symphony of solemn swelling 
sound, 

Or in the dozen tongues you speak the mystery 
expound, 

We will not quarrel with the name, whatever 

first it meant, 

67 



ANA CREONTICS. 

But only think, as the wine we drink, 'tis worthy 
him who sent. 

Encomium more exquisite could hardly be de- 
vised 

Though one should take a week to tell how 
much the gift is prized. 

And if my verse seem all too bad your good 
wine to repay, 

I did the same to Longfellow. What is there 

more to say ? 

68 



Cc 

THE SON$) OF THE SORROWFUL, OR 
THE LIQUOR LL CENSE. 

A majority of the cities and towns of Massachusetts voted 
yesterday to license the sale of cider and beer. — Morning 
papers. 

T MET a gaunt Aquarian, 

His nose was long and blue; 
He looked so bad, that watery cad, 

'Twas painful him to view ; 
Adown his face there rolled apace 
A salt and bitter tear ; 
" Alas !" he cried (and sore he sighed), 
" They've licensed cider and beer S 

" We thought we'd drawn our leading-strings 

Around the state so tight, 
69 



ANACREONTICS. 

Cold water on its healing wings 

Would put all foes to flight. 
No drop of aught that's good to drink 

Should in the land appear, 
But now — it makes my spirits sink — 

They've licensed cider and beer ! 

" The deed is done — I plainly J£jl/ 
That we shall backwards go, 
And follow men like Agassiz, 
And men like Longfellow; 
And after Fiske our heads will frisk 

* Till daylight doth appear.' 
Some fiend has brought our work to naught 
And licensed cider and beer ! 

' The goodly time was coming fast 

When malt should be a sin ; 
70 



ANACREONTICS. 

When we could shut Hans Breitmann up, 

And cage Gambrinus in ; 
When wine should be a felony, 

And meet a doom severe ; 
They've stultified our hope and pride ; 

They've licensed cider and beer ! 

u If children ill of typhoid lie, 

Let ' willing angels ' take 'em ; 
'Twere better far they all should die 

Than brandy sound should make 'em. 
Let nursing mothers faint and droop 

For want of spiritual cheer — 
But ah ! I dream ; they've spoiled our scheme ; 

They've licensed cider and beer ! 

' What will befall our wicked State, 
That hath backslided thus ? 
7i 



ANA CREONTICS. 

What awful doom will cruel fate 

Inflict upon poor us ? 
Say, shall we see great General B. 

Our Governor next year ? 
Or greater curse, if any's worse ? 

They've licensed cider and beer!" 

His voice grew faint, he slunk away, 

His nose seemed lengthening out ; 
His coat-tails flapped in disarray, 

Like shirt of Dicky Dout ; 
But on the wind he cast behind 

His plaint in accents drear, 
Woe to the Hub! O Beelzebub! 

They've licensed cider and beer! 

72 



AD FONTIUM NYMPH AS. 

(AFTER HERRICK.) 

f~\ LATICE ex ilia si jam mihi virgine lympha 

Candida tendatur candidiore manu ! 
Protinus, hoc facto, pateram circumque superque 

Lilia conspiciam florida vere suo, 
Aut tandem hoc, Nymphae, mihi cedite saepe 
precanti ; 
Pocula tarn dulci tangite clara labro, 
Et, simul ac vestris aqua sit conjuncta labellis, 
Flumine mutato rebor adesse merum.* 

* Aquarians will please not translate this word mere rum. 

73 



ANNAE CONCUBITUS. 

(Poetae Scoti carmen celeberrimi Latine redditum.) 

T T ESTERNA laticis cyathus mihi nocte Falerni 

Fallebat spumans, tutus eratque locus ; 
Hesterna, memini, carissima nocte capillos 

In nostro flavo s straverat Anna sinu. <7 

Ah, loti ramo desertis exul arenis 

Gaudeat aspecto, qua domet ille famem ; 
Ast Annae haerebam mellito laetus in ore ; 

Gaudia quam fuerint ista secunda meis ! 
Omnia longinquo, reges, teneatis ab Indo 

Usque ad ubi Hesperiis extat Atlantis aquis. 

Fervidus at dominae teneam mollissima membra, 

Languidaque amplexu cincta sit Anna meo ! 
74 



ANA CREONTICS. 

Dellicias magnorum ergo nil inde morabor, 

Posthabita Eoi regis et uxor erit, 
Dummodo languescens, ulnis circumdatus Annae, 

Divinas reddam suscipiamque vices. 
Jam male resplendens subducas lumen Apollo, 

Et tua subducat Candida, Phoebe, soror ! 
Parvula ne radios conspergat stella micantes ! 

Ocius, egrediens, ocius, Anna veni ! 
Jamque adeas, nigris O Nox quae niteris alis, 

Et valeant Phoebus, sidera, Luna, precor! 
Tu calamum affiatu divino tange poetae, 

Divina ut narret gaudia quanta tulit! 
75 



TH E END 




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